His head was against the steering wheel, his hands gripping it on either side and he listened to the radio until the song had finished. For him it was like some signal, some reminder and he just wanted to let it play out until he pulled the lever out of Park and started the drive.
With his eyes closed he remembered how she looked when she turned from him the last time. In between now and then they had held some conversations, snippets he would call them. Lovely sentences and sometimes a laugh. But then he had wanted to see her, the way you unleash a craving and when it awoke inside of him he knew that he would have to make the drive.
But that craving had come after he had stowed away a martini or two, and he knew that there was no way he was going to be able to make the drive...so he went out to the car, climbed in and tilted the seat back so he could sleep. It was a summer night and with the windows down the breeze came in and he closed his eyes and waited.
In a dream and falling he stirred and woke up with a jolt. Blinking he rubbed his eyes and took a few breaths...he felt okay, but wasn't sure. He started the car and the radio came on and so did the song...and he laid his head against the steering wheel as it played.
It ended and he started the drive.
The interstate was barren, devoid of all cars and mostly just long-haul truckers high on speed and Red-Bulls so he made amazing time. He wasn't sure what her reaction would be...an illicit invasion and he wasn't even sure how to find her...maybe a text...maybe an email. No call.
He just knew she was at the ocean.
He hit the Bay Bridge at dawn, when the east was melting away the prior night's blues...he crossed with the full orange and yellows in front of him and pitch black behind him. A seagull hung beside him, high in the air until it spiraled off. The windows were still down and the scent of the sea came roiling through...salty, humid...fresh in the morning.
Another reminder song came on, and he turned up the volume, slightly singing along as the day started climbing higher in the sky. He wondered if she was still sleeping, sprawled out across the bed, her hair slightly covering her face. He wondered if she might be awake, padding across the floor in her sleepwear, tussled and yawning and listening for the first drips of coffee. Maybe she was awake and drinking a cup on the porch, looking at the same exact colors as he saw. He decided he preferred that last image and pretended they were staring exactly at the same sun at the same time.
The song ended and commercials played...he sped up as he descended down the slope of the bridge, angling faster and moving straight east to a place where he knew she would be and he couldn't get there fast enough.
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