God...I Remember

It was a Sunday...maybe it was.

I don't remember much anymore...little details that elude me.  Times...dates...unimportant.  What I do remember though is the proximity...the sense, awareness...like a teenage-dance when bodies softly touch where never touched before.  It sounds trite...god, I know it does...seems pitiful now.

But then?

You were an IV bag hung beside me, dripping slow medicine into me. You were in the bloodstream.  Comforting...curing.  Yeah...you helped fix me.

You were an antidote...a remedy.  You obliterated the bits of me that were snapped...you reconciled and mended.  You binded.  You bandaged.

In a way you became my religion, you became my deity.  You were quite subtlety the power...the beginning of something that I cared to remember.  The start.

I remember...God I remember waiting for you...

In a quiet evening with only headlights and the sound of heels on bricks.

In a picnic with the grass heavy with humidity.

In an evening...backlit with pinks and peaches...in a storm, exploding around and deafening...but folding into each other...

A winter, with just a fire.

It was brazen.  Wanton.  Chemical.  The introduction of you into the awaiting me.  Placating...pulsating...the wary climb onto the top of the highest diving board and the release of the immersion into the water.  You were the libido, the exhale.

Stolen.  A kiss...another.  A touch.  A glimpse.  A pull-back and a stare.

What are you thinking...exactly now.

I remember...God I remember trying to read your mind.

A thick bound leather book...with a lock.  Maybe a time and again when you might open it and pull out a page and let me read it before crumpling it in your hand and hiding it away.

You whispered words...you spoke in tongues.  You invaded quiet silence and broke it with a violence.  A tone.  A reveal.  Exposure...like standing nude before me...not naked...nude because you are art.

You gave in...you released.  You allowed....you offered.

I wanted to keep you for myself...such selfishness knows no bounds.  I coveted...I sinned.

I remember you dressing...God I remember the way you returned to your outside world after sharing your inside one with me.

I drank from your cup...
I took your chalice.

I worshiped you.

I remember worshiping you...God I remember worshiping you.

In a pink and peaches evening I still do.